Encouraging Family Members.
Posted on Mar 8th, 2010 
Encouraging Family Members
To Return To Church!
By Mike Jones
A. Don’t nag or criticize. Remember, it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict people if they should return to church. “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.”—Zechariah 4:6. In some cases, perhaps they shouldn’t return. A cold, legalistic church where Jesus is not the main focus will just send them out the back door. Keep in mind that God can save people outside the church as well as within.
B. Pray daily for your family member who has dropped out of church. The Bible tells us, “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much.”—James 5:16. Pray and claim the merits of Jesus’ shed blood that their sins might be forgiven and that the Holy Spirit—and other agencies—will be enabled to work powerfully in the life of the person you’re praying for. Remember, “All the resources of Heaven are at the command of those seeking to save the lost.”–Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 197. See also Incredible Answers to Prayer by Roger Morneau, Pp. 11-12).
C. Crying out to God in behalf of someone will move the hand of God. “The Bible talks about God’s “own elect who cry out day and night to Him” and says He will respond “speedily.”—Luke 18:7-8. (Additional reading, see The Power of Crying Out by Bill Gothard).
D. Claim God’s promises for those who have strayed per Mark 11:24. “Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, it will be done for them.” Here are two promises to claim: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”—Proverbs 22:6. “I will contend with them that contend with you, and I will save your children.”—Isaiah 49:25. Claim the promises. At least the last one.
E. Be available to family members when they are in crisis or under Satanic attack. Remember Jesus’ promise, “Behold, I give to you…power over all the power of the enemy.”—Luke 10:19. He has also promised, “Nothing shall be impossible to you.”—Matthew 17:20.
F. Apologize and seek forgiveness from any family member who may no longer attend church because of your past behavior. If you’re a parent, perhaps you were overly strict and didn’t reveal the love of Jesus well during his or her childhood. Your most effective tool following an apology will be empathetic listening with no defensive explanations. Sometimes an apology in behalf of the church is in order, too, if the person feels (rightly or wrongly) that they were not treated well by their church. Perhaps they weren’t.
G. Practice being emptied of self during all encounters with inactive or former members. Filled with the Holy Spirit, you will be able to more effectively role model the love of Jesus & respond more graciously to challenging moments. Ask the Holy Spirit to make the words of Galatians 2:20 your reality. “I’ve been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me…”
H. Consider anointing with prayer the area where you’re going to have an encounter with an inactive or former member if you know in advance where it will be. You need God’s Spirit to put a shield in place to keep back the forces of darkness during your encounter. P.S. Conversations over food can be winsome. If you can afford it, do a meal together (even if it is a Taco Bell). And, of course, you’ll buy.
I. Talk about your family member’s interests. Don’t just talk about religious matters. The family member is much more likely to be responsive to you if you take an interest in what’s going on in his/her life. You don’t have to be talking about spiritual matters for the Holy Spirit to be speaking to someone’s soul.
J. Really, really listen. If there’s bitterness, let it all come out. Pray silently and suture your mouth, perhaps claiming this promise: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips.”—Psalm 141:3. Great healing can take place when we have enough control to just listen.
K. Never give up, never give up, never give up. God doesn’t. Neither should we. Keep on praying daily, relentlessly. Storm Heaven in behalf of your family member. And remember your primary objective is to help the person you’re praying for to get hooked up with Jesus. He’ll take care of getting them back to church.
P.S. Pastors who’d like to see some sample letters that can be used to communicate with their inactive/former members are welcome to email Mike a note requesting them. Please include your fax #.
6 Responses 
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I, too, grieve for those who have wandered from the faith. Yet, I am concerned that we often forget that the goal is not getting them back to church but back to Jesus. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that many wander because all they have had is church – rules, standards, rituals, etc. They have never been taught or understood that Jesus is a real person with whom they can have a real and active relationship.
Here’s an article you might appreciate:
http://www.gracefortheheart.org/whereelsecouldwego.html
Thanks for the post!
Dave
Dave:
I agree with you 100%. In fact I always point dropouts toward a relationship with Jesus. He’s quite capable of helping them come back to church–or not.
In some of my earlier blogs I make this point. Thanks for the article you sent.
Mike
Mike,
I really appreciate your heart! I have had the chance to read your other blogs and I must say that it is refreshing to see someone write about a relationship with Jesus.
As I read, I remembered an article I wrote and never posted a couple years ago. I have posted it on my site now and you may be interested. Even more than the other one, the new article (Susan) seems to fit with the thrust of your ministry. Here’s the link:
http://www.gracefortheheart.org/susan.html
God bless!
Dave
Hi Mike:
We just heard your interview on 3ABN and really enjoyed your testimony, and are encouraged by your words telling about your return to your former faith.
Your book sounds most interesting. Since we tuned in late we aren’t sure when you wrote the book or who published it.
May God continue to bless you,
Dona Fulmore
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